Waiting

Oh what fun it is to be,

In a lay-by on the A53.

Well, the A580, I did lie a bit,

But A580 wouldn’t rhyme would it?

All was well when I set off down,

The M6 motorway to Haydock town,

To call at pet wholesalers, R & B,

Then off to a meeting in good time you see.

It happened as I drove in the car park,

A strange engine sound, not a cough, not a bark,

But a high pitched whine, oh dearie me,

But all will be fine, of course it will be.

Purchases made I returned to the car

And set off once more, but not very far

Along the 580 towards the M6

Weird noises, stiff steering, I AM in a fix!

So into the lay-by I pulled pretty sharp

And waited for ages, I don’t mean to carp

And all rescue services, are busy, it’s true,

But making me wait not one hour but two?

The cars they came and whizzed right past

Each time I thought, “It’s them at last”

But no, and so I sat and waited

Why is life always so complicated?

All I wanted was to arrive

At my meeting on time, not even five

Minutes late or five minutes too soon.

But just on the dot at an hour past noon.

So I phoned them and said I would not be arriving

At all as I really cannot go on driving

This car any more ‘cos it’s broken down

Only just outside of old Haydock town.

To fill in the time I looked all around

At traffic, unlike me, all motorway-bound

At magpies and pigeons on the grass verge

And then I scribbled down this little dirge.

On the opposite side of the busy main road

Was a Little Chef and Travelodge abode

But to cross four lanes and central res barrier

I’d’ve needed not legs but a Royal Air Force Harrier!

I longingly thought about cups of hot coffee

And maybe a donut dipped in soft toffee

And, I admit, of other things too,

Like an increasing need to go to the loo.

But no chance, so mind on other things please

And sit with crossed eyes, crossed legs and crossed knees

And watch little birdies and just hope and pray

That the needs of the bladder will soon go away!

Ten minutes passed and then half an hour

I hoped and I hoped that they would not be much longer

Then, oh joy, the phone rang and I answered with speed

A nice RAC man who knew of my need.

Alas and alack, the call was just courtesy

To say they really were thinking of me

But sadly no patrol for me he yet had

So I waited some more, oh this really is bad!

The phone rang again, over an hour I’d waited

That nice RAC man, I listened, breath baited

Oh joy when he said a patrol soon would come

Straight after his last job, about half past one.

Only another half hour, I thought

So some more diversions for me I sought

Birdies and traffic all gone, silence deep

So why don’t I just lie back, go to sleep?

I tried, but possible it just was not

And with windows closed it was getting quite hot

So I just sat and sat, by now quite resigned

And hoped the patrol would arrive in good time.

I waited and waited and waited some more

Then at last came a tap at the window and door

The nice RAC man at last had arrived

To see why my car no longer would drive.

He opened the bonnet and then scratched his head

He twiddled and prodded and poked then he said

“It’s your power steering fluid my dear

It’s leaking away, there’s not a lot here.”

So back to his van his spanners he fetched

He leaned in the bonnet and, my, he did stretch

To reach and to tighten the offending nuts

He fixed it right then, no ifs and no buts.

He sorted the leakage, he poured in the fluid

And not once but twice he thoroughly checked it

And back on the bottle he put back the lid

Then came out from under the bonnet and said

That’s all sorted now; you should have no more trouble

Now just sign this form then go off at the double

To wherever it was you were trying to get

You’ll be pleased to hear that I bet.

Then with a flourish he was on his way

Many more breakdowns to fix for today

And I looked at the time and uttered a moan